my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
