I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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