careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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