Your tits are I can't wait for
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
