Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
