So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
