are you so shy because you have an std?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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