its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
