Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
