420 ftw
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
You pole danced in your parka.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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