Just took my morning after pill in the library
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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