i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
