Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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