thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
