okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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