I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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