Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
We named our party play list daddy issues
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
