That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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