They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
