youre lurking in front of me
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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