Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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