We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I wish i was in the wii world.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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