Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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