She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I need a beard to bite.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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