Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
