My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
