So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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