so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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