i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
