So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
