come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
it glows. i had to have it.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
