Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
If that was your dad, he is hot
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
