She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
