I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
