you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
cat food counts as protein by the way
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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