I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
