I could have mohawked her pubes.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
