Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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