plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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