I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
