Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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