She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
