So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
