Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
