So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I think a kid would responsible me up
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
