p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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