google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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