Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
where am i from again
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
