she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
she looked like the before picture.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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