8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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